rudderless

Away

We have been quiet, as we’ve been away. My dear dear grandmother entered the hospital almost two weeks ago with pneumonia. On Thanksgiving Day, which was also her 84th birthday, she was admitted to Hospice. I can’t say enough about the care she’s receiving at Hospice, and what a lovely and inclusive place it is. We visit everyday and the girls have time in the playroom with my Mom while I squeeze Granny’s hand a little too tightly.

When my dad’s parents were in this phase of their life, I was busy tending to newborn babies. My grandfather’s favorite saying late in his days was, “Family is everything,” and at that time I was feeling a bit of “Baby is everything,” more than anything else. But this time, with my girls a bit bigger, and no real obligations back home in Florida (thanks to John, who’s keeping the boat-prep in motion and the bird well fed), I can hear him saying that. I can see exactly what he means. Granny’s family is gathering for her. Just tonight she had myself, my girls, my sister and her beau, my dad, my mom, my cousin and his wife and kids. By Tuesday she will have two more (beloved) grandsons around her. The phone rings constantly, the cards come everyday. She has touched so many people, she has loved so many people, people who never knew she was busy loving them. She is ultimately the most accepting, faithful, stubborn, and GOOD person I have had the pleasure of knowing. She is my Granny Ross. She is our everything.

Mike!

John left “on some errands” today and returned with a bird. A real live parakeet. Sophie named him Mike, presumably because we’d just been talking about my uncle Mike coming for Thanksgiving. Mike the Parakeet. He’s a lovely addition, if not a little unexpected. We hope to do better by him than we’ve done with the fish and the caterpillar and the ants.

What else have we been up to? Lots of paper mache and a beautiful pink pinata the color of Pepto Bismol. Sophie drew a butterfly on it and then proceeded to cover it with a flourish of perfect letters. We haven’t done much writing recently, as she seemed to be doing it for me more than for her own enjoyment. I decided to step back from it for a while; not even suggest she use letters in her drawings. She’s been drawing bugs and crocodiles and butterflies, people with long bodies and heads with hair. She “signs” her work with a sun on the back. I adore her pictures. And then tonight she showed such comfort and willingness with making letters. Again, I’m reminded to let her lead the way. She will write when she’s ready. She will read when she’s ready.

It’s just around the corner.

Weekending

My parents were here for the weekend and there was much eating, fishing, playing, card-gaming, wine-drinking fun. My favorite story?

On Sunday my mom put Rosy down for a nap, as John and I were working on the boat. She laid down with her upstairs and Rosy turned to her and in all earnestness, said, “Booby?”

Mom: “NO! Binky!”
Rosy: “Booby??”
Mom: “Binky!”

She did go to sleep, without a fuss. But my poor mom, 27 years after weaning her youngest . . . Booby?

More pics on Flickr, and I’m so excited to join this penpal circle.

Science Class

I can safely say that until today I had no idea how to identify snail poop. Sophie found this critter outside today and we brought it inside to “study him” for a while. We hoped he might show us some slime. And he did. We weren’t bargaining for the poop.

So goes the science at our house. We try to follow her lead. We model curiosity (because we really are curious!) She and John often “do experiments.” Stuff like seeing how long a bowl of ice takes to melt, putting celery stalks in colored water, leaving an egg in vinegar overnight (gross). She has sprouted seeds and is growing her first bean plant. We check out piles of library books about human anatomy, seasons, birds, and botany. She had a minor meltdown one day when a little friend tore a page from her seed catalog. Her special seed catalog!!!

Girlfriend has her own mind, full of questions about the world. It’s magical to see it unfolding, to see her making connections. Some are bittersweet. She’s figured out what it means to die, but not what happens afterwards. “Do you still have your skin when you die?” SHe can identify solids, liquids, and gases- “Farts!!” This week’s fascination is with muscles and bones. How fingers work. On our holiday wish list are a stethoscope and this puzzle, which is just brilliant.

I never liked science at school. Not until high school biology, when it all started to become fascinating. Occasionally we’d come to a unit on the solar system and I’d be engaged, but for some reason the “cool” bits, the biology and anatomy, were few and far between. I remember drawing a picture of the water cycle every year. I know we can give her more than that. In some ways, I think we already have.

When I have doubts or fears about this journey we’re embarking on, taking our ladies’ education into our own hands for at least the near future, I remind myself that we’re mere facilitators. We don’t need to teach. Our only job is to listen, to answer, and to occasionally demonstrate. With Sophie it’s a matter of nurturing her interests and showing her just a tiny bit more of the bigger picture. Curiosity is everything, the rest will follow.

Us!

It only took 400 years and 2 babies, but I finally updated our boat card. We were a bit mystified when we started cruising down the coast all those years ago and people began handing us their info on business cards. Most of them have seventeen lines of contact info and a picture of a boat. We decided that what we needed was a picture of people’s faces. And that’s what we made. Us, on a card, with our boat.

There are times when I feel like the boat card phenomenon needs to be adopted by the larger public. Moms at the library story hour, strangers in the grocery store who ask about my baby carrier. Other Volkswagen TDIs we see in parking lots. We could make some good friends.

Halloween

I am relieved to say that Sophie’s princess phase has not been as lengthy or scary or obsessive as I’d feared it would be. I think it started with her learning the story of Cinderella. We tried to emphasize the KIND and GOOD part of Cinderella’s nature. I think more than anything she digs the pageantry and the tangential connection to dancing. Balls! Cinderella goes to balls! And it is a good story, with the fairy godmother and all.

So Sophie was a princess for Halloween. In a thrifted ballet costume with fake flowers. Rosy was her sidekick “baby princess.” In Sophie’s ballet dress. We whipped up the matching crowns Halloween morning, and admittedly I was thrilled that she was happy with my abstract fabric interpretation and didn’t insist upon a plastic glittery fire hazard. If this is as princessy as we get, I’m pretty pleased. And thank you, friends and relatives, for not calling my children “princesses,” now or ever.

Her current obsessions are Gnomes and Fairies. My sister and I had a brilliant pop-up Gnome book when we were little. I remembered it so fondly that I trolled Amazon looking for a used copy. We got it the other day and Sophie was as mesmerized as I was. She immediately latched onto the idea that gnomes help animals in the forest and collected gnome offerings all afternoon, in hopes that they might protect our house too. We’re animals too, after all.

Today we got Tracy Kane’s Fairy Houses book in the mail. It’s seriously wonderful. We read it at least eight times and had to look at every picture after each reading. She has grand plans to find fairy house material tomorrow and start building so that one day she can see fairies. I love that the book ties butterflies to fairies, as this whole nature-offering stuff began with the butterflies in Maine. I want her to have some magic, to believe in something that’s not spoon-fed or overly commercialized. I love this direction. I’m excited to see where it takes us.