Granny
The quietest part of my day is the time I spend sitting with my grandmother. This week with her has been a gift. My sister, my dad, and I spend time everyday. My twin cousins, whom Granny helped raise, have been here from far reaches of the West, just to be with her. My mom has spent every night of the past three weeks at Granny’s side. We have heard her many wishes, her wisdom, her visions and verses. She has given tiny bits of herself to each of us, and as she leaves us, I feel like I’m carrying dozens of tiny packages. My arms are full of her. Brimming with pieces of her, all little gifts wrapped in beautiful boxes.
To my sister she said, “Faith, hope, and charity. Charity’s the most important.”
On Wednesday she told me, “There must be more acceptance, more love in our community. God said, ‘Lock no doors.’ He loves Muslims as much as he loves any Christian.”
She has been quoting John 3:16. John 3:17. The Lord’s prayer. Bits and pieces of verses and sentiments like, “The hairs on my head are numbered. You have to help Shirley (my mom) with the love. Organize the love.”
These four days of lucidity, of her being able to speak and share with us, have been greater than any Christmas gift, any Birthday card, any hug or kiss. They are how we feel connected to her, and to one another.
The lights are dimming. Exhaustion is setting in. Our hope is that she is beginning to feel less burdened, less responsible for the weight of the world. She has made herself heard, made herself clear. She will live on through us. We will be better because we knew her, because she loved us, because she is exactly who she is.
If I’ve ever met anyone I’d describe as saintly, it is Colie Ross. There are many paths to enlightenment. Many religions, many practices, many ways of living your life. She taught me that your path makes little difference. The way you choose to believe is irrelevant. As long as it asks you to be better, to ask more of yourself, to give more of yourself, to love, and to recognize that life is about far more than self-satisfaction. It can be arduous, it can be demanding, but to get to the peace that she has found in these last days, you must be altruistic, honest, and open no matter what the circumstances.
There is nothing selfish about this woman beside me. She is simply beautiful.
