rudderless

Twenty Months

Dear Roo,

Happy twenty months! Twenty months sounds far too close to TWO for my comfort. How on earth is time flying so fast?

Apparently you got the memo about time and are busy keeping up. Potty trained. Speaking in full sentences. ALL. DAY. LONG. Diana said last weekend, “Imagine if you said everything that was on your mind, all the time. That’s Rosy.” Uh-huh. “Want this? Eat this? Rock. TRACTOR! Trains on trestles. GREEN train. Eat this.”

My favorite phrases of late: “What doing Mama?” “Hey, watch DIS!!” “What happen?” Oh the talking is precious precious stuff and I feel so blessed that we can hear your thoughts and not just your frustrations. There are few things in the world better than that tiny voice at 6AM saying, “Backhoe! Moving backwards. See backhoe, Mama?” Beep-beep-beep. Yep, even at 6AM.

Intelligence. What a gift. I can see already how much of a challenge it will be for you, to stay challenged. The work we’ll need to do to keep things new and stimulating. New books, new projects, new words. That you can differentiate and name complex construction equipment at twenty months is just the beginning. May backhoes be followed by quarks and ions . . . You have the world in your palms, Rosy. Anything you wish to learn, any subject you want to explore, it’s yours for the taking.

AT twenty months Rosy likes to dress as a princess, then dig in the gravel and fill dump truck after dump truck. She likes to ride Sophie’s bike and wear a helmet. She likes choc-wet (chocolate) and gummis of all kinds. She does not like green vegetables. She does enjoy rice and pasta, pancakes and oatmeal. She likes tractors and trucks of all kinds, trains, and ballerinas, running in circles, being held upside down, jumping on the bed, jumping off the bed, swinging on the big-girl swings at the park, sliding, running, and falling down. Rosy likes climbing into the windowsill to supervise the traffic outside. She notices when there are no cars- “Quiet, Mama. No cars.” She notices when poodles pass by (seriously, where did you learn to recognize specific dog breeds?). She notices. Everything.

My Roo, with a smile that spells mischief and love and happiness inside and out. With the scrunchiest faces that make us all love you more everyday. How is it possible after twenty months? But it is. We adore you.
Truly.

Yours forever and ever,
mama

An afternoon walk

It began with a hike through the mud mountain that is our road. We found weeds/flowers. It’s all the same to our horticulturalist, Sophie.

Off to a grand and expansive mud puddle, perfect for the little construction vehicles.

Which quickly devolved to this scene.

And by the end of the walk?

Our first warm, non-rainy day in a long while. Construction vehicles, mud, flowers. It was near-perfect.

Treehugging Tuesday

John treated me to a one-child morning last week and Rosy and I watched the No Impact Man documentary. We first read about Colin Beaven and his project three (3!) years ago when he attempted the No-Impact Year, aka The Year Without Toilet Paper, with his wife and daughter. I think like most people who read the story, we were excited about the statement he was attempting to make, and also a bit skeptical of his motives- was it simply a stunt to gain publicity and a book deal? Watching the film made me convinced that Colin has nothing but good intentions. He’s an optimist, an activist, an idealist. He admits that the extremes he and his family went to (living without electricity for 6 months, not taking the elevator to their 9th floor apartment, despite having a DOG that needed to be walked many times a day) were not meant to be replicated on a large scale. It WAS a publicity stunt; a publicity stunt for change. If we all did a tiny bit of what he did (and continues to do, on some level), we’d perhaps be a happier, cleaner, healthier society. As he says in the film, it’s not about using as little as you possibly can, it’s about using what you need in a sustainable way.

I really enjoyed the film, especially the “macro” bits, where he visits the hazmat dumps in the Bronx that are poisoning local kids, and suggests that beyond NO impact, he’d like to make a positive impact- imagine if we all took less from the environment, but worked to actually improve it! He begins to address the erosion in community- the loss of interconnectedness and this notion that our choices have no effect on our neighbors, not to mention our children and grandchildren. That’s the part I’m interested in. The idea that YOUR trash makes me sick.

Here are some links:
The No-Impact Project with its “carbon cleanse” week. I like his PDF How-Tos and the way the week is set up. He doesn’t ask you to go cold turkey (his family didn’t- they phased in new stages over the course of their No-Impact year), but rather to reflect on one piece of the puzzle each day.

The No-Impact man blog. The bits from 2007, when they were in the throes of the project, are the most compelling.

His bike. I WANT a rickshaw. So enormously cool. I have my Mamabikeorama sticker on my bike. But imagine the possibilities on this thing.

When I get down on the green stuff, biking around thinking we’re such a drop in the bucket (seriously, what I wouldn’t give to see one more family, ONE more family biking around the Keys on a regular basis), I see things like this and realize that there is a movement underway. There is community. I try to remember the small stuff people are doing: the neighbors are recycling more, so many of my friends are using cloth diapers, look at all the organic milk on the supermarket shelf! There are things to celebrate, just as there is still so much more to be done.

Happy Treehugging Tuesday.
ps- John got 47 mpg on his last tank in the TDI. We had a cocktail to celebrate that little bit of sustainable practice.

Reading

My friend Meg recently asked me what parenting books I’d recommend. I’ve been trying to come up with a list, and failing. Perhaps most of my parenting advice has come from the internet? From Ask Moxie and good blogs by moms I’d like to emulate? I can only guess. The only book that really impacted the way I try to live is Heaven on Earth, by Sharifa Oppenheimer, which I read when I was pregnant with Rosy and heavy into Waldorf philosophy. It’s a great book that touches on all aspects of a child’s life and has some wonderful ideas for toys, celebrations, daily routines, etc. Meg, you’d love it. I also think Tim Seldin’s Montessori book has some nice ideas for living simply and organizing your home, as well as for simple games and toys. The enormous tupperware sandbox from the Oppenheimer book, and the touch basket from Seldin’s book have been big hits with my kids.

I have read Siblings Without Rivalry and think the Farber/Mazlish way of communicating has a lot of merit. If only I could remember it in the moment. Buddhism for Mothers. The Creative Family, and Amanda Soule’s blog- though not necessarily advice-driven, I like the way she lives her life with her kids.

I am a big Mothering Magazine reader (duh) and soak up the stuff that reinforces what we’re already doing. Because four years of sleep deprivation and sleeping with babies is perhaps starting to get to me? How people have three and four children, I salute your stamina. I haven’t read a ton since the babes were born- I’m finally getting back to it now. I can get easily overwhelmed with the advice and should-be/could-be of parenting books. The internet is a blessing in the way it lets me find what I need, when I need it. It connects me with like-minded people even when I’m feeling a bit alone on the island here. Truly? I can’t imagine parenting without it.

Also on our shelves these days?
Sophie is heavy into The Tomten, a Valentine’s Day gift from us. She loves that story to no end. It’s a sweet one.
Rosy? Trucks, trucks, trucks. I love this Byron Barton book. We read it tonight, along with a fairly technical book about equipment. She looked up at me as she was nursing to sleeping and said, “Jackhammers, Mama. Jackhammers.”

Diggers

These days our life is all about the hum of “tractors” going by and the constant BEEP BEEP BEEP of them reversing. Sewers are coming to the Keys (about time, eh?) and they have arrived outside the condo. SO in these last days of land-life, the girls have been treated to a wonderful education in the realm of construction vehicles. It is a parade of “tractors” for Rosy to name- “Oh, woader (loader)-backhoe! Mama, WITTLE woader!!! Where dat dump truck?” This girl loves trucks. We read truck and train books over and over again. Sophie is minorly interested, but mostly likes to read the word CAT on the skid-steer loader (aka “wittle woader”). She also approves of the incredible mud they’re making for us to stomp off our shoes.

The other obsession of late? Trains. Rosy has a book of the Thomas the Tank Engine characters and can name them like pictures in a dictionary. They have a half dozen engines at this point and play with them constantly. Rosy likes to name them and click them all together until it gets unwieldy- ‘Dis train TOOO long.” Sophie takes them to school and gives them lessons in stopping, rescuing, whistling. We had a small wooden train set when she was Rosy’s age that rarely got played with. The Thomas characters, with their faces, are right up her pretend-play alley. They have personalities. It also helps to trash the track. Liberated from the rails, trains can make their home anywhere in the house, in the company of all sorts of other vehicles, robots, little people, fairies, loader-backhoes, dumptrucks . . .

Valentines Day

We had a really wonderful Valentine’s Day- a gorgeous sunrise and then present opening in the morning light. Our Valentine mailbox was a big hit and something we’ll make a tradition. It doesn’t have to be holiday specific, but something about the special heart box and love letters combined to send Sophie into a writing frenzy. One of those moments when the best learning happens because you’re not trying too hard to make it happen. And it’s fun!

We drank coffee and streamed the America’s Cup race, only to see the USA prevail!! It was like watching sailing redefined- boats going 30 knots in a relatively small wind. They were flying, and it was just beautiful. What we wouldn’t give to see the next race held in a lovely place like Newport . . .

Sophie designated Valentine’s Day as Mike, the bird’s, birthday- which is brilliant because we’ll never forget it. Rosy has been singing Happy Birthday every day for a month now, so it was about time to put the song into action. They fabricated gifts from birdseed, toothpicks and play-dough (Rosy calls toothpicks, “pickles,” which I always want to remember). We made party hats. We made a great cake, of Sophie’s invention, that tasted like strawberry shortcake (but without whipped cream, which she’s decided she abhors, weirdo).

We took a walk to oversee the construction equipment in the neighborhood (more on that soon). We ate kale soup and homemade bread. Our friend brought us little gnomes made of Hershey kisses. We Skyped the grandparents in snowy Atlanta. We were sending and receiving the love. It was simply nice to put the boat work aside for one precious day and be us. It was a simple, good time.

Walls and Windows

I just finished Elizabeth Gilberts’ new book, Committed, about the history of marriage. It was a good read, especially for a married person. One passage has stayed with me and I’ve found myself thinking about it from time to time this week. She’s discussing Dr. Shirley Glass, who seems like the consummate marriage shrink:

“Dr. Glass explained that nothing is wrong with a married person launching a friendship outside of matrimony- so long as the walls and windows of the relationship remain in the correct places. It was Glass’s theory that every healthy marriage is composed of walls and windows. The windows are the aspects of your relationship that are open to the world- that is, the necessary gaps through which you interact with family and friends; the walls are the barriers of trust behind which you guard the most intimate secrets of your marriage.

What often happens, though, during so-called harmless friendships, is that you begin sharing intimacies with your new friend that belong hidden within your marriage. You reveal secrets about yourself- your deepest yearnings and frustrations- and it feels so good to be exposed. You throw open a window where there really ought to be a solid, weight-bearing wall. Not wanting your spouse to feel jealous, you keep the details of your friendship hidden. In so doing, you have just built a wall between you and your spouse where there really ought to be free circulation of air and light.”

John and I are both intensely private people. I always wondered if other people kept as much within the bounds of their marriage. It felt good to read that not only was it normal, but it was healthy to keep the windows cracked, not thrown open to the world.

May the houses, and the boats, we build in the future continue to be sound structures. I love you, John.

A Year

How fast it goes. That round baby is now walking, talking, using the potty. Ridiculous.

Today:

Happy almost Valentine’s Day!

Treehugging Tuesday

A simple reminder to turn off any lights you don’t need, inside and out. Imagine the stars we’d see if more people did such a thing. I remember the Milky Way, as seen from the coast of Maine, on the night before our wedding. And the stars at Joshua Tree. Spectacular. Keep the sky dark. Click on our sidebar “Need Less” animation to learn more.

Our other sidebar feature: Fuelly. We track our fuel consumption on Fuelly and are like super-geeks when we see our mpg go up. Breaking 43 was worth some high-fives and a glass of wine. We LOVE driving diesel. Enter your stats and play along. It’s good clean fun.

Making it Home

A few corners of the boat. This is truly the first home John and I have made together- something that isn’t a rental, or a loaner, or a boat that first belonged to him. It’s been great fun sewing, decorating, polishing it into something that belongs to all four of us.

The cushions are Ultrasuede (big splurge, but so worth it), sewn in the most basic way possible on my Sailrite Ultrafeed machine. I have had a long and tenuous relationships with the sewing machine. But after five years and a few dozen projects, I am proud to say that I love it with all my heart. Cockpit cushions are next on the list.

Pictures of my grandfather, grandmother, John’s mom, my family. My other grandmother resides in the galley. And I’ve noticed a strange absence of pics of my parents. Perhaps we need to schedule a photo shoot for next month, so the girls can have their beloved Goonie and JoePop framed up onboard. We hang pictures with velcro so that they stay put when the boat rocks. I need to reframe something for the left corner.

Art. By my lovely friend Meg Winnecour. The bluebird has found a home on our bulkhead.

Now, on with the living, and the adventuring.